If you've been keeping up with the election, your faith in humanity is probably long gone now.
And mine is, too. He flew out the window and said he will never come back, so that you never, hopes and dreams see. Although this batch of politicians is blessed with a unique brand of crazy, crazy policies were spitting absolute nonsense since humans began to govern.
In honor of the campaign season, we'll take a look at some of the most bizarre promises that professionals have never been crazy. (And you know that we'll get to you, Donald.)
1. While George Dubya was not exactly a ton of fans, the vow of Dennis Kucinich to the arrest in 08 was a bit excessive.
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2. Queen Ridiculousness Sarah Palin promised to be "more thugs" next time she ran for president, probably in an effort to use his favorite word again. It was so funny, in fact, she did not run at all.
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3. Rick Santorum more embarrassed my country by declaring a war against porn because focusing on the real issues is foolish. He wanted specifically to prohibit the hard-core pornography because pornography of soft-core variety obviously is A-okay in his book!
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4. Vermin Supreme could be a fictional politician, but his promise to give every American a pony back in 2012 is something I'm still waiting for the candidates this year to revisit.
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Bernie, I feel like this is for you.
5. Reading professional Hater Herman Cain promised to veto any bill of more than 3 pages back in 2011, because if it could not be decided over dinner, it has no place in politics. In other news, he probably loves Twitter.
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6. When Jello Biafra, former lead singer of the Dead Kennedys, confusion ran for mayor of San Francisco in 1979, he promised to do all the business men wear clown suits. the basic logic would dictate that Donald was his only inspiration.
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That being said, I feel like that outfit enough.
7. The Insanity captain, otherwise known as Newt Gingrich vowed to return in 2012 that the United States would have a colony on the moon by 2020
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I'm going to assume he has not proposed this as a way to escape a planet murdered by global warming.
8. Melting cat Ted Cruz has recently pledged to make music Triton - otherwise known as the Devil's jam -. illegal when it slips its way into the Oval
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9. John Edwards, who is also a doctor in his own mind, once promised that he and John Kerry would cure, diabetes and Parkinson's Alzheimer's disease during a transition to the White House, because realism is definitely her thing.
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10. Al Gore poetically promised to keep George W. Bush all out of the White House, by ensuring that zebras do not change their spots. Science.
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11. Trump's opposition to NAFTA is not crazy in itself, but the reasoning behind this is a little ridiculous because it apparently finds people across North America - including US citizens - dumb. In his words, "Free trade can be wonderful if you have intelligent people. But we have stupid people. "
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And perhaps it is not wrong, because Americans vote for him in the primary.
12. Michele Bachmann, once swore she withdraw US troops from Libya and Africa
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(via Complex)
This list just proves that political absurdity is not confined to certain parts, but instead permeates the entire system. Makes you feel warm and fuzzy, right? Same.
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